Skip to main content

An Into to Hardwiring Yourself for Happiness

Magicians rarely like to explain their tricks.  Since I'm not a professional magician though, I can let you in on a little magic trick for growing a strong and healthy brain.  Actually, it's a big one.   It's so big in fact that to properly explain it, I need to break down into a series of posts.  In a nutshell, it's about going from a red brain of reactivity to stress to a green brain of calm and contentment in defiance of the stress all around us.  

First, however, I must give full credit to Rick Hanson, the source of my inspiration and newfound knowledge on building happiness into my life and yours.  He is a prominent neuropsychologist at UC Berkeley and has written an international bestselling book, Hardwiring Happiness: the new science of contentment, calm and confidence, which I hope you will read too.  All of what I'm about to say comes from the magic of the discoveries found within the pages of his book and how it's improving quality of life.  

The trick we are talking about here is how to experience consistent lasting happiness over a life-time.  So calling it a "trick" is just a metaphor for a proven technique we can practice to get real results.  It turns out that happiness, like all other good things, takes
work, brain work to be specific.  

Happiness is a broad inclusive term which encompasses contentment, peace and calm and a whole other host of qualities, skills and perspectives.  Some examples of inner strengths include love, self-worth, determination, kindness and more.  Possessing and using these traits is no small achievement.

They are the source of our true essence and who we are.  They enable us to deal with conflict and the many challenges (Shakespeare's slings and arrows) which come our way.  Therefore, stimulating and strengthening them is of vital importance to get through the tough times.  Without them, we lack the tools necessary to resolve problems effectively. When that happens our natural homeostasis is disrupted, resulting in less time for repair work and healing.  Unable to meet challenges, we continue to react and our body and mind are quickly depleted.   In this red brain state, we reinforce our vulnerability to stress in an endless cycle.   A strong tendency to get reactive and lose control when confronted with stressful events becomes our norm.     

The work we need to do directly changes our brain from being a red reactive brain always on alert for the bad because of it's inherent negativity bias, to a green brain equipped with inner strengths to deploy when needed.  Our natural responsive mode can do it's other job that it was designed for, which is ensuring health needs for the long-term are being met.  Fortunately, this green brain is our default mode.  We may think our natural setting is to be anxious and worried but it's not.   Having those feelings is a sign of the times.  As Mr. Hanson puts it, we have lost our "ancient template" of the past because our present is so filled with stressors it almost seems there is no choice but to react.  However, we cannot afford to be in reactive mode as this will only bring more anxiety and suffering, not just to our own well-being but our to our relationships as well.

The process of hardwiring our brain for happiness then is about training our attention to focus on positive experiences which will change our brain for the better.   However, it has to be done in a certain fashion which I will discuss in my next blog.  No need to worry though, it's a very simple practice to learn and use.  I for one can attest to that because I tried it and it worked.

In my next post I will continue to share more of what I have learned from this magical book and how to make happiness and other strengths a part of who you are and how you experience the world.  

Eddie Grassi
Relationships Coach
lifecoachingaid.com
eddiegrassi10@gmail.com
#hardwirehappinesstoday







Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Resistance to Taking in the Good

Eddie Grassi, Point Lobos CA August July 29, 2018 Do you remember the last time you refused something really good? While it may sound counterintuitive, people do it all the time. We resist the opportunity to take in the good.  Even though it is all around us, like low hanging fruit, we may have our reasons not to accept it.  The invitation to let in the good isn't always a given.  For instance,  you feel you do not deserve to be happy or that you are not worthy to receive its benefits.  Or maybe you have doubts about happiness because of past experiences in which the idea of being happy did not work out so well.     Another idea you may hold is that this stuff about happiness just doesn't work; it's a sham.   You may think to yourself, "no way, not trying this junk.  It's a waste of time."  There's also the thought that you already are happy so there's no need for more.   All of these possibilities can make you feel resistant.  And guess w

The Key to Sustaining Positive Change

You want to feel more gratitude in life?  What about motivation?  What about calmness? Then try this: have an experience where you feel gratitude.  Just have one.   Here are some examples: to stimulate a feeling of gratitude in response: notice you are alive and breathing.  Listen to your breath.  See what's in front of you. Be grateful for being alive. Notice when you can move.  Be grateful you can move. Notice when somebody smiles at you.  Be grateful somebody smiled at you. The list goes on.  The event or experience need not be big and grandiose like winning a million dollars to get on the train of positivity.   We don't need million dollar moments to be grateful.  If this proves difficult for you to do, that's okay, have patience with yourself and be grateful that you are trying.  It's not supposed to be easy like, well, like when we feel anxious or angry.   That's not you?  Well, for many of us, including myself, those two feelings have had lots o

Get Where You Want to Go with Self-Confidence

Eddie Grassi, Life Coach eddiegrassilifecoaching.com Having self-confidence is on a lot of people's wishlist this year.  That's probably because self-confidence is necessary to be successful at what you do.  What's great is that just a little self-confidence in anything can evolve into mountains of the stuff, which can be applied to many things.  It's one of those must have traits that enable us to perform at our full-potential when we meet challenges in our relationships and career.  If you could buy a bottle of self-confidence from Target, you would probably give it a try.  You could then drink some of it and then ta-dah, you have self-confidence.  The only trouble is its expiration date.   This means that this precious trait will not last forever in your system.  While this could never happen, in reality our attitude towards self-confidence isn't much different.  We tend to think of it as something that does not come naturally.  If it does at all, it is s